May 04, 2017

Children of the aging self-absorbed

These resources are available for loan to members of AANSW
 - if you would like to reserve them please
email the Library on nsw.library@alzheimers.org.au


Children of the aging self-absorbed :
 a guide to coping with difficult, narcissistic parents & grandparents

As your self-absorbed parent grows older and becomes more dependent on you, hurtful relationships may resurface and become further strained. In the tradition of Children of the Self-Absorbed, author Nina Brown offers the first book for adult children of aging narcissistic or self-absorbed parents. 

You will learn practical, powerful strategies for navigating the intense negative feelings that your parents can incite, as well as tips to protect your children from the criticism, blame, or hostility that may exist between you and their grandparent.

In this book, you will gain greater awareness of how and why your parent's self-absorbed behaviors and attitudes get worse, and develop strategies to manage the negative feelings that can arise as a result. 

You'll also learn to reduce the the shame and guilt that may be felt when you feel like you don't want to be a caretaker. Finally, you'll learn to set limits with your parent so you can stay sane during this difficult time. Having an aging parent can be stressful enough, but dealing with an aging narcissistic or self-absorbed parent is especially challenging. This essential guide will help you through. Audio downloads are included.



The four things that matter most : a book about living
Four simple phrases -- "Please forgive me," "I forgive you," "Thank you," and "I love you" -- carry enormous power. 

In many ways, they contain the most powerful words in our language. 

These four phrases provide us with a clear path to emotional wellness; they guide us through the thickets of interpersonal difficulties to a conscious way of living that is full of integrity and grace. 

Too often we assume that the people we love really know we love them. Dr. Byock reveals the value of stating the obvious and provides insights into how we burden ourselves by hanging on to old grudges unconsciously and unnecessarily.

He shows us how to avoid living with those awkward silences and uncomfortable issues that distance us from the people we love and erode our sense of well-being and joy. 

His insights and stories help us to forgive, appreciate, love, and celebrate one another more fully. The inspiring stories in The Four Things That Matter Most demonstrate the usefulness of the Four Things in a wide range of life situations. They also show that a degree of emotional healing is always possible and that we can experience a sense of wholeness even in the wake of family strife, personal tragedy, divorce, or in the face of death. With practical wisdom and spiritual punch, The Four Things That Matter Most gives us the language and guidance to honor and experience what really matters most in our lives every day.



Stop Walking on Eggshells Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care About Has Borderline Personality Disorder (BP)

Finally, there is a sympathetic, wise, insightful, blame-free, plain and simply written discourse aimed at non-BPs with significant other BPs in their lives. 

It explains what BDP is, symptoms of which can include abandonment and rejection issues, lack of self-identity, chronic emptiness, impulsivity, inappropriate anger, emotional instability, paranoia, splitting of people into all good and all bad and suicidal ideation. 

It provides everyday solutions for coping with BP behavior, how to get help for the affected person, what additional traits occur which the DSM does not mention, deals effectively with universal myths and everyday realities, explains succinctly why BPs act the way they do and generally destigmatizes BPD.

It is a most comprehensive book written for both sides of the borderline fence with easy to read chapters ending in succinct summaries. Text boxes are outlined in an attempt to highlight the main message of the relevant passage and although this is somewhat distracting, it does serve a higher purpose. However, a word of warning for any BPs reading this book: Although it is written in a very compassionate voice, it may unearth repressed memories from childhood and evoke unconscious triggering behavior you may not even be aware of until the damage is done.




 

Taking care of parents who didn't take care of you : making peace with aging parents


Caring for aging parents is difficult-it's exhausting, expensive, time-consuming, and under appreciated. And that's under the best of circumstances, when the caregiver loves and respects his or her aging parent. What happens when adult children are asked to care for elderly parents who were abusive, neglectful, or absent?  

Here is a compassionate and practical guide to facing the psychological and emotional issues that arise when caring for aging parents. Eleanor Cade offers sound as well as personal accounts from individuals who have made the choice to care for difficult parents. The result is a powerful guide to moving beyond feelings of anger, regret, and grief in order to build healthy new family dynamics based on decency and mercy.  

Target audience - For individuals who are caring for aging, dysfunctional parents, as well as counselors and therapists who work with families  
Features   - an authoritative resource for baby boomers caring for aging parents  
defines differences between "normal" and "dysfunctional" families  personal stories validate the experiences and feelings of readers.



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