March 26, 2017

books in the library dealing with difficult older people

Children of the aging self-absorbed : a guide to coping with difficult, narcissistic parents & grandparents

As your self-absorbed parent grows older and becomes more dependent on you, hurtful relationships may resurface and become further strained. 

Nina Brown offers the first book for adult children of aging narcissistic or self-absorbed parents. You will learn practical, powerful strategies for navigating the intense negative feelings that your parents can incite, as well as tips to protect your children from the criticism, blame, or hostility that may exist between you and their grandparent. In this book, you will gain greater awareness of how and why your parent's self-absorbed behaviors and attitudes get worse, and develop strategies to manage the negative feelings that can arise as a result. You'll also learn to reduce the the shame and guilt that may be felt when you feel like you don't want to be a caretaker. Finally, you'll learn to set limits with your parent so you can stay sane during this difficult time. Having an aging parent can be stressful enough, but dealing with an aging narcissistic or self-absorbed parent is especially challenging. This essential guide will help you through. 

Stop Walking on Eggshells Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care About Has Borderline Personality Disorder

Finally, there is a sympathetic, wise, insightful, blame-free, plain and simply written discourse aimed at non-BPs with significant other BPs in their lives. 

It explains what BDP is, symptoms of which can include abandonment and rejection issues, lack of self-identity, chronic emptiness, impulsivity, inappropriate anger, emotional instability, paranoia, splitting of people into all good and all bad and suicidal ideation. 

It provides everyday solutions for coping with BP behavior, how to get help for the affected person, what additional traits occur which the DSM does not mention, deals effectively with universal myths and everyday realities, explains succinctly why BPs act the way they do and generally destigmatizes BPD.

It is a most comprehensive book written for both sides of the borderline fence with easy to read chapters ending in succinct summaries. Text boxes are outlined in an attempt to highlight the main message of the relevant passage and although this is somewhat distracting, it does serve a higher purpose. However, a word of warning for any BPs reading this book: Although it is written in a very compassionate voice, it may unearth repressed memories from childhood and evoke unconscious triggering behavior you may not even be aware of until the damage is done.


Taking care of parents who didn't take care of you : making peace with aging parents

Caring for aging parents is difficult-it's exhausting, expensive, time-consuming, and under appreciated. And that's under the best of circumstances, when the caregiver loves and respects his or her aging parent. What happens when adult children are asked to care for elderly parents who were abusive, neglectful, or absent?  

Here is a compassionate and practical guide to facing the psychological and emotional issues that arise when caring for aging parents. Eleanor Cade offers sound as well as personal accounts from individuals who have made the choice to care for difficult parents. The result is a powerful guide to moving beyond feelings of anger, regret, and grief in order to build healthy new family dynamics based on decency and mercy.  

Target audience - For individuals who are caring for aging, dysfunctional parents, as well as counselors and therapists who work with families  
Features   - an authoritative resource for baby boomers caring for aging parents  
defines differences between "normal" and "dysfunctional" families  personal stories validate the experiences and feelings of readers.

The selfish pig's guide to caring

Be ing a carer is long, lonely and hard, yet there is limited support and formal training. As a result, carers suffer frequent damage to physical and mental health. Oddly, though carers by definition are anything but selfish pigs, they are liable to feelings of guilt, probably brought on by fatigue and isolation. So Hugh Marriott has written this book for them - and also for the rest of us who don’t know what being a carer is all about. His aim is bring into the open everything he wishes he'd been told when he first became a carer. And he does. The book airs such topics as sex, thoughts of murder, and dealing with the responses of friends and officials who fail to understand.
I am not sick, I don't need help! : how to help someone with mental illness accept treatment

includes  6 new chapters have been added, new research on anosognosia (lack of insight) is presented and new advice, relying on lessons learned from thousands of LEAP seminar participants, is given to help readers quickly and effectively use Dr. Amador’s method for helping someone accept treatment.

I AM NOT SICK, I Don't Need Help! is not just a reference for mental health practitioners or law enforcement professionals. It is a must-read guide for family members whose loved ones are battling mental illness. Read and learn as have hundreds of thousands of others…to LEAP-Listen, Empathize, Agree, and Partner-and help your patients and loved ones accept the treatment they need.

Hope for the caregiver : encouraging words to strengthen your spirit
book review by Imelda Gilmore, a carer and advocate for Alzheimer’s Australia NSW

What an extraordinary little book! Even as I started reading it, I found almost every page had at least one quotation from someone or somewhere that I wanted to write down. It's written simply and contains so much common sense, yet there are amazingly profound statements that will change your view of your caregiving role forever. The chapters are very short: even if you only have 10 minutes to read with a cup of coffee or before you're going to sleep, in those 10 minutes you'll have enough food for thought for the next 24 hours. Its hard not to list any quotes - I couldn't choose the best ones because there are just too many that qualify, from people as diverse as Will Rogers, the Bible, McDonalds, Victor Hugo, Charles M Schultz, Mother Teresa  ...  

And another quote "And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance, I Hope You Dance." Mark D. Sanders / Tia Sillers.
From Michael J Fox: "I am careful not to confuse excellence with perfection. Excellence I can reach for; perfection is God's business."

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