January 14, 2016

sandwich generation

a generation of people, typically in their thirties or forties, responsible both for bringing up their own children and for the care of their ageing parents.
see also

The family on Beartown Road : a memoir of learning and forgetting
BOOK REVIEW by an ALZ NSW healthcare professional
What was interesting was the writers insight, prose and description of the 2 people she cared for, her Dad and her daughter, and their very opposite journeys. Significantly, the writer tells her story at a time when her husband leaves her.
She compares…..Her daughter around 1-2 years of age and her learning/progression with  language, function and movement, and her father’s journey into memory loss, with deterioration in language, movement and function.
Memory is an amazing thing. It defines who we are / who we relate to. Her daughter was daily making new connections in her world, laying down memories, her father was daily losing more of his previously established connections. Her daughter was becoming a person, with her own personality, her father was changing each day from the scholar/father he once was.
 On a very simplistic level these 2 personalities connected and that part of the story was lovely. They are Grandfather and Granddaughter, even though neither of them could really define this…she’s just almost 2 by the end of the book, and he doesn’t always recognise these are his daughter or granddaughter he lives with. He rarely calls them by name and he often confuses the sex of the granddaughter as a boy. But they had connection…

So I am saying that I appreciated this story. I just couldn’t help my feeling of wanting to jump in and try to convince her to seek help. I know from her writing that she hadn’t “got there”, in the acceptance of help…and maybe even with a case manager it still might have been the same journey…we are all different.
The sandwich generation
In this emotionally charged account of family care giving, filmmaker Julie Winokur and her husband, photojournalist Ed Kashi, expose their personal lives with unflinching candor. Winokur and Kashi uprooted their two children and their business in order to move 3,000 miles cross-country to care for Winokur's father, Herbie. At 83, Herbie suffers from dementia and can no longer live alone. Winokur and Kashi are faced with difficult choices and overwhelming responsibility as they charge head on through their Sandwich years. It is a story of love, family dynamics and the immeasurable sacrifice of those who are caught in the middle.
The great relationships guide : 30 brain training and life changing steps to cultivate a great relationship that stands the test of time.  [Cards]
Translating the latest research on the brain into simple facts you need to know, these 30 cards make sense of the ingredients for a successful relationship.

Boundaries : where you end and I begin
Boundaries separate us from others physically and emotionally. In fact, they are essential for our mental and physical health as well as for developing healthy relationships. Yet every day, people's boundaries are violated by friends, family, or coworkers. Despite the importance of personal boundaries many people are unaware of how or when these very important lines are crossed.
Don't bite the hook : finding freedom from anger, resentment, and other destructive emotions [CD]
by Pema Chodron
Life has a way of provoking us with traffic jams and computer malfunctions, with emotionally distant partners and crying children--and before we know it, we're upset. We feel terrible, and then we end up saying and doing things that only make matters worse. But it doesn't have to be that way, says Pema Chödrön . It is possible to relate constructively to the inevitable shocks, losses, and frustrations of life so that we can find true happiness. The key, Pema explains, is not biting the "hook" of our habitual responses. In this recorded weekend retreat, Pema draws on Buddhist teachings from The Way of the Bodhisattva to reveal how we can: stay centered in the midst of difficulty ; improve stressful relationships ; step out of the downward spiral of self-hatred ; awaken compassion for ourselves and others"
Emotional intelligence 2.0 [CD]
Knowing what emotional intelligence is and knowing how to use it to improve your life are two very different things. Emotional Intelligence 2.0 is a step-by-step program for increasing your emotional intelligence using the four core EQ skills - self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and relationship management - to exceed your goals and achieve your fullest potential.

Don't sweat the small stuff...and it's all small stuff : simple ways to keep the little things from taking over your life [CD]
by Richard Carlson
Don't Sweat the Small stuff...and it's all small stuff is a book that shows you how to keep from letting the little things in life drive you crazy. The author reveals ways to calm down in the midst of your incredibly hurried, stress-filled life. You can learn to put things in perspective by making the small daily changes he suggests,including advice such as "Think of your problems as potential teachers"; "Remember that when you die, your 'in' box won't be empty"; and "Do one thing at a time". You should also try to live in the present moment, let others have the glory at times, and lower your tolerance to stress. You can write down your most stubborn positions and see if you can soften them, learn to trust your intuitions, and live each day as if it might be your last. With gentle, supportive suggestions, Dr. Carlson reveals ways to make your actions more peaceful and caring, with the added benefit of making your life more calm and stress-free.

Emotional intelligence : why it can matter more than IQ
by Daniel Goleman
Daniel Goleman's report from the frontiers of psychology and neuroscience offers startling new insight into our "two minds"—the rational and the emotional—and how they together shape our destiny.Through vivid examples, Goleman delineates the five crucial skills of emotional intelligence, and shows how they determine our success in relationships, work, and even our physical well-being. What emerges is an entirely new way to talk about being smart. The best news is that "emotional literacy" is not fixed early in life.

Life is short ... wear your party pants : ten simple truths that lead to an amazing life
by Loretta LaRoche
The author outlines the tools you need to not only reduce feelings of tension, but also to bring joy, passion, and gusto into your life. Her techniques are a blend of old-world common sense and the most contemporary research in brain chemistry, psychology, and mind-body studies. Loretta gives you dozens of proven techniques for recognizing the ten simple truths that will lead you to an intense, happy, successful life: resilience, living in the moment, optimism, acceptance, humour, creativity, moderation, responsibility, meaning, and connection. In her work, Loretta has seen tens of thousands of people who live their lives as if they’re sitting in a waiting room, hoping that their turn comes up next. This book will show you that life is not something to be endured, but is something to be truly appreciated. We need to remember how to access our inner abundance, which allows us to be heart-centered, joy-filled human beings.
These resources are available for loan to members of AANSW - if you would like to reserve them please email the Library on lis@alznsw.asn.au

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