August 19, 2015

books for care partners

These resources are available for loan to members of AANSW - if you would like to reserve them please email the Library on

Ambiguous loss : learning to live with unresolved grief
by Pauline Boss
When a loved one dies we mourn our loss. We take comfort in the rituals that mark the passing, and we turn to those around us for support. But what happens when there is no closure, when a family member or a friend who may be still alive is lost to us nonetheless? How, for example, does the mother whose soldier son is missing in action, or the family of an Alzheimer's patient who is suffering from severe dementia, deal with the uncertainty surrounding this kind of loss?   Pauline Boss explains that, all too often, those confronted with such ambiguous loss fluctuate between hope and hopelessness. Suffered too long, these emotions can deaden feeling and make it impossible for people to move on with their lives. Yet the central message of this book is that they can move on. Drawing on her research and clinical experience, Boss suggests strategies that can cushion the pain and help families come to terms with their grief. Her work features the heartening narratives of those who cope with ambiguous loss and manage to leave their sadness behind, including those who have lost family members to divorce, immigration, adoption, chronic mental illness, and brain injury. With its message of hope, this eloquent book offers guidance and understanding to those struggling to regain their lives

Mindfulness for carers : how to manage the demands of caregiving while finding a place for yourself
by Dr Cheryl Rezek
This book shows how simple mindfulness techniques can help caregivers to manage the stress, anxiety, depression and burnout that too often accompanies the care of people with physical, psychological or emotional needs. The enjoyable mindfulness exercises will help caregivers to regain control and maintain a positive outlook.

The happiness trap : how to stop struggling and start living
What if almost everything you believed about finding happiness turned out to be inaccurate and misleading? What if those very beliefs were in fact making you miserable? Too many of us are caught in the happiness trap: we think that we should be happy all or most of the time, and we believe that we can control the circumstances of our lives in order to avoid unpleasant experiences.

I'm too young to be seventy : and other delusions
Contents   --  At Seventy   -- At Seventy Erotic Options   --  Teeth  -- Hmmm   --  Re: Vision   --  As Time Goes By   -- Soul-Searching   --  Still Married   --  The Secret of Staying Married Not Merely His Life Companion   --  Body Heat   -- Why Marriage Was Invented   --  At the Opera   -- In the Middle of the Night   --  Some of the Reasons I Love to Go to the Movies   --  To My Husband When He Starts Contemplating Remarriage or If I Should Die Before I Wake, Here's the Wife You Next Should Take   --  The Children and Grandchildren   --  They May Be Middle Aged, But They're Still My Children Granddaughter   --  New Kid Around the House   -- Namesakes   --  A Letter to My Sons About Mother's Day  -- What Do We Tell the Children?   --  Role Reversal   -- The Sixth Grandchild   --  The Rest of It   -- Nervous Too Young to Be Seventy   -- Keynesian Economics   --  If We Stopped Trying   --  On Not Being a Good Sport About the Fact That I'm Going to Die One of These Days   -- At the Airport   --  Still Dieting After All These Years   --  The Rest of It

also by the same author
Necessary losses : the loves, illusions, dependencies, and impossible expectations that all of us have to give up in order to grow
Introduction p. 15 --  The Separate Self   --  The High Cost of Separation p. 21  --  The Ultimate Connection p. 34  --  Standing Alone p. 43  -- The Private "I" p. 51  --  Lessons in Love p. 66  -- The Forbidden and the Impossible   --  When Are You Taking That New Kid Back to the Hospital? p. 83  --  Passionate Triangles p. 100  --  Anatomy and Destiny p. 115  --  Good as Guilt p. 130  -- Childhood's End p. 142  --  Imperfect Connections   --  Dreams and Realities p. 161  --  Convenience Friends and Historical Friends and Crossroads and Cross-Generational Friends and Friends Who Come When You Call at Two in the Morning p. 170  --  Love and Hate in the Married State p. 185  --  Saving the Children p. 205  --  Family Feelings p. 223  --  Loving, Losing, Leaving, Letting go   --  Love and Mourning p. 237  --  Shifting Images p. 265  --  I Grow Old ... I Grow Old p. 284  --  The ABC of Dying p. 305  -- Reconnections p. 325  --  Notes and Elaborations p. 329  
Quarterly essay 57 - Karen Hitchcock on Caring for the Elderly

…doctor and writer Karen Hitchcock investigates the treatment of the elderly and dying through some unforgettable cases. With honesty and deep experience, she looks at end-of-life decisions, frailty and dementia, over-treatment and escalating costs. Ours is a society in which ageism, often disguised, threatens to turn the elderly into a “burden” – difficult, hopeless, expensive and homogenous. While we rightly seek to curb treatment when it is futile, harmful or against a patient’s wishes, this can sometimes lead to limits on care that suit the system rather than the person. Doctors may declare a situation hopeless when it may not be so.

We must plan for a future when more of us will be old, Hitchcock argues, with the aim of making that time better, not shorter. And we must change our institutions and society to meet the needs of an ageing population. Dear Life is a landmark essay by one of Australia’s most powerful writers.

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